SHIFT Work: 10 Stories You Are Telling Yourself That Aren’t Really True
Stories are powerful. Whether it’s a story someone tells to market a message or an internal story that we tell ourselves, the impact of a story can be powerful.
About five years ago back when I still had a day job, I was sent to evaluate a potential sales training program for the IT company I worked for. The whole premise of their sales training was using powerful stories to establish rapport, build trust, and prove that your offering was the best solution for a potential client. A few years before that when I worked in the training department at Barnes & Noble, there had been the same kind of push to use more stories in branding and marketing.
In business, well-told stories allow us to connect and build bridges to a product, event, or person based on emotion. And it’s that emotion that triggers us to like or become disenchanted with the storyteller. The same thing happens with the personal stories we tell our selves. Your well-told story, whether it’s a bad or good story, triggers your emotions and those emotions trigger a response.
The question is: What story are you telling yourself?
“Is it really true that you don’t know what to do?” I ask this question at least once a week in my business coaching calls. Each call starts with an accountability check in, and around the 2nd month when we re getting into the actions beyond the strategy, I can almost predict when a client will say, “I didn’t know what to do.” A more inexperienced coach might try being a cheerleader or revisiting the steps or actions. I have learned to simply ask if that statement is really true. And every single time, it is not.
“I don’t know what to do,” is a story they are telling themselves. A story they have become comfortable with because as long as they can claim that they don’t know what to do, they don’t have to take action. They also don’t have to risk failure or rejection. This is one of the distinction between bright women and brilliant women:
- Bright women allow old stories that aren’t true to limit their effort and energy towards going after what they want.
- Brilliant women do the work to break free from the weight of old stories so they can break through to their purpose.
Here are some other stories you may be telling yourself that aren’t true and that you are allowing to block your brilliance:
- I don’t know what to say.
- That won’t work for me.
- I need more experience.
- I’m not ready.
- I don’t know enough.
- I need more practice.
- That would never happen for me.
- I don’t have ________.
- I’m not _________.
Do any of these sound familiar? It’s okay if they do. You are in good company – most of the brilliant women I work with struggle to erase these stories and replace them with the truth about who they are. (By the way, I pulled more than one of these from personal list.)
Here’s the deal: Bad stories lead to bad or neutral emotion which leads to a negative response. Negative responses mean we either do nothing or in the worst case we self- sabotage and take things in the exact opposite direction we really want.
How to SHIFT from bright to brilliant
Your brilliant transformation will begin when you acknowledge the story that you are telling yourself. Once you acknowledge, it you’ll need to decide that it’s not true. It sounds simple but the emotion and energy connected with that story are way powerful and may require some work. It’s one of the reasons I incorporate EFT into the SHIFT work that I do with clients. Finally, you get to replace that old story with the new message you want so sow into your life. You can sow this message through prayer, meditation, journaling, or affirmations.
Remember you reap what you sow. If you are not reaping the prosperity, contentment, and peace that you want – take time to look at the stories you have been telling yourself.