Live on Purpose: Stop Trying to Talk Yourself into What You Don’t Want
Tai Goodwin
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Live on Purpose: Stop Trying to Talk Yourself into What You Don’t Want

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book: Reclaim Your Brilliance: 7 Steps to Embracing Your Truth and Living Your Purpose
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[quote cite=”– Mahatma Gandhi”]“To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” [/quote]

One of the techniques we’re taught during coach training was to help clients shift their perspective or reframe their situation. If you can reframe how you see things, you can change your inner and outer dialogue. Once those two changes are made you can take action from a place of power rather than react from a place of fear or frustration.

I remember the dread and drain of feeling trapped in a job I hated. It was a “good job,” but it wasn’t fulfilling. I knew I was capable of more – doing more, earning more, and having more impact. Not only that, but I didn’t trust or respect the people that I was working for and with. A normal shift or reframing that a coach would suggest is to focus on being grateful for having a job. But there was another shift I needed to make: It is okay to outgrow where you are.

About Tai GoodwinMy heart started racing. I felt dizzy, weak, and had a hard time concentrating. An overwhelming sadness folded around me like a swaddling cloth. I felt constrained by it on every side. It was Sunday night, and this was my body’s response to the coming dread of tomorrow – another Monday morning. If you have ever been in the grips of an anxiety attack, you know how draining they can be physically and emotionally. Even if you haven’t experienced a full-blown panic attack, you do know what it is like to dread Monday morning.

This was the life I lived for years. The panic attacks were the worst when I was a teacher. I taught 5th grade for two years that felt incredibly long and were extremely stressful. Although I knew I wanted to use my gift of teaching to change lives – the role of elementary teacher was not the ultimate position for me. At the end of my second year of teaching, I made a decision that I would not be going back for a third year.

Now, I could have seen the $80,000 education, the hours spent student teaching and serving in AmeriCorps, and all the preparation for the six-hour exam as a loss. Instead, I focused on what those experiences taught me. I learned about my capacity for compassion and commitment. And I learned how much I truly did want to help other people succeed. One of the most important lessons I learned was this: If you don’t like where you are – you have the choice and power to change things.

I could have chosen to wallow in a career that I was clearly ill suited for. Had I made that choice I am sure it would have made me a bitter, worn and complacent woman. I see it all the time – women who have settled for less than their calling suffering from perpetual burn out. I chose a different journey – rather than complain I would change things. That determination has carried me from classroom teacher, to award winning corporate training professional, all the way to making the leap from employee to entrepreneur.

It is always important to be grateful for what you have and where you are. Being grateful allowed me to be present in a job I hated. But acknowledging that I had outgrown my role opened the door for me to freely and confidently look for what was next. My inner dialogue was one of excitement about possibilities rather than trying to talk myself into staying in a job that was draining my energy, enthusiasm and passion. And as I began to talk about what I really wanted and ask for what I wanted, the opportunities and support showed up.

What’s your story?

Are you living on purpose? Or are you:

  • Trying to talk your self into something you really don’t want?
  • Living your life based on other people’s expectations?
  • Making decisions to soothe someone else’s fear?

About the Author Tai Goodwin

Tai Goodwin on a mission to help 10,000 women entrepreneurs create more joy and wealth in their life and business. She's the CEO of Aligned + Bankable and creator of the Bankable Brilliance Course. An intuitive business growth strategist and teacher, her specialty is helping clients create bankable business models that allow them to increase their impact and income without burning out. Tai is a former corporate trainer with a master's degree in instructional design and over 20 years of experience designing course, training programs, and certifications. She is also the author of Girlfriend, It's Your Time and founder of Brilliant Business Girlfriends.

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Vatsala says

Many of my major career decisions have been based on intuition which speaks to me when I feel an ache in my tummy and leads to clarity and relief if I sit back and think about the decision that I have to take and then do it. Not knee-jerk of course, but start to plan and work on the next move. When I moved into coaching, I was fortunate to speak to an Executive Coach whom I had met during one of my previous employer’s Leadership Summit and with whom I had kept in touch. The key thing he told me then which is so true, is that I should not put aside my years of experience when approaching corporate or individual clients for business because my value came from my experience which was now being re-framed for another career innings.

Nowadays, I wake up in the morning thinking, okay, where do I start today with a passion that I have not experienced since my first day in my first job. I love my intuition!

    Tai Goodwin says

    Isn’t it absolutely freeing when you are doing the work you’ve been called to do, Vatsala! When I look back, I’ve always trusted my intuition in my career – choosing to make a move when I no longer felt things were a good fit. My last job though, I stayed too long and paid the price of being burned out and physically sick.

Katy says

Tai, this is beautiful. I’m a teacher as well (made 3 years my first time, and not I’m back for a second time, in my 3rd year and again wanting to leave). All my life I knew I wanted to be a teacher. But I found out pretty early that the average classroom wasn’t where I did my greatest work. I realized long ago, that I can help people even more, as adults through coaching and giving them a voice to be heard.

I think you’re right on with learning how to reframe and look at situations differently. I’ve no doubt that many people can’t figure out how a teacher is now a small business coach. But with a little outside the box thinking and reframing, it all makes perfect sense. And happens to be one of the bigger gifts that I can bring to our time together.

Good for you for sharing your journey and helping others.

    Tai Goodwin says

    I am so excited for you Katy! It takes courage to find a new way to serve your purpose. I think teachers make good coaches and messengers because we have a genuine interest in helping people shine. Thanks for sharing your story!

Jennifer Ann Sanders says

I love how you shifted to see how you had outgrown the job rather than thinking that you were not ‘any good’ at it. Life is much more energising when you live on purpose without so much stress 🙂

    Tai Goodwin says

    Jennifer, it was a perfect case of, “It’s not me, it’s you.” In this case the “you” is the job you’ve outgrown. Our first response is to think there is something wrong with us. When the truth something may not fit you because you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do – GROW. Thanks for sharing.

Lynne says

Inspiring post! Truly one must live their lives as they want and not because it is what they have grown accustomed to. I am in that phase in my life where I am discovering what I really want and hopefully I discover what it is I really want and live for that purpose.

    Tai Goodwin says

    Thanks for stopping by Lynne.I truly believe that asking the question, “What do I really want?” opens the door for the answers to come – from the inside with external confirmation. Happy journeying!

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