I don’t know about you, but all three of these definition show up when I am about to take a news step towards my purpose-based passion. I’ve ended an abusive marriage, moved my entire life half way across the country, and made over my professional life more than three times. When it comes to change – I know how to do it. That still doesn’t keep resistance from rearing its ugly head, when I am about to move forward into something unfamiliar or something I perceive as uncomfortable.
Maybe you are facing it right now as you feel called to serve or share your message in bigger way. If you are feeling resistance right now- congratulations. At least you are listening to the call of your heart and spirit. If you were totally blocked to what you are being called to, you’d be content to stay mired in mediocrity. You wouldn’t even notice that there is something more for you, a next step that would allow you to expand your reach. Now it could also mean that you haven’t done anything with the vision you’ve let slide to the back burner. In that case, it’s not about resistance, that’s fear, doubt, and denial. (You should see me about a SHIFT session if you find yourself in that place.)
A number of my clients come to me saying they are stuck. Stuck is when you don’t have the ideas, information, resources, or strategy that would allow you to move forward. The quickest way to get unstuck is to ask for what you need. I find that some people aren’t really stuck, they are stubborn. They have exactly what they need, know what they need to do, but resist doing what’s required. Why? Because change feels uncomfortable. It can be hard and lonely when you are dong something that others are unwilling to do. But the reward is so worth it: there are people that can’t step into their purpose until you step into yours.
Resistance comes up quite often in my coaching sessions. Some of my clients recognize it in themselves when I give them new insights or invite them to try a new approach. Some don’t recognize that they are resisting. And like Dr. Phil says, “You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.” Here are a few examples of what it looks like and feels like when resistance is blocking your progress:
I was doing some work with a client to help her market a product she wanted to create. As soon as I advised her that her initial market was too big, she had an excuse for why she couldn’t narrow down to a more specific group. I listened to her for about five minutes as she tried to avoid making a decision. Soon she was talking in circles trying to convince herself that she didn’t need to make a decision. I stayed quiet until she became quiet, then I asked her two questions:
“Has trying to market to everyone been making you feel heard or ignored? Why are you resisting positioning your self so you can really be heard?”
Once we identified how resistance was showing up for her, we applied my five step SHIFT process to help her go from resistance to results:
You can do the same thing. If you know you struggle with doing this alone, be accountable: tell a friend, coach or mentor about the resistance you are letting go of – ask them to call you on it if they see you holding on to it.
I’d love to hear from you: How does resistance show up in your path and how do you handle it?
Tai Goodwin on a mission to help 10,000 women entrepreneurs create more joy and wealth in their life and business. She's the CEO of Aligned + Bankable and creator of the Bankable Brilliance Course. An intuitive business growth strategist and teacher, her specialty is helping clients create bankable business models that allow them to increase their impact and income without burning out. Tai is a former corporate trainer with a master's degree in instructional design and over 20 years of experience designing course, training programs, and certifications. She is also the author of Girlfriend, It's Your Time and founder of Brilliant Business Girlfriends.